


In grief, We bake.

by room_on_broom



Series: I Saw Seven Idiots 2: Beefy Bois [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Comfort Food, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Humor, IPRE Crew | Starblaster Crew as Family, Lucretia needs a hug, Missing Persons, One Shot, Siblings, Someone dies but they'll get better, Taako Needs a Hug (The Adventure Zone), Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:34:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26550706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/room_on_broom/pseuds/room_on_broom
Summary: "Because Taako doesn’t write his feelings down like she does. Taako cooks. Taako stress bakes. Correction: Taako is stress baking. On an industrial scale. Lucretia finds him in the kitchen. Obviously."It's always hard when you loose a dear dear friend. Even if it is for the forth time. It's harder still for Lucretia to let Taako deal with this all on his own.
Relationships: IPRE Crew | Starblaster Crew & Taako, Magnus Burnsides & Taako, Magnus Burnsides & The Director | Lucretia, The Director | Lucretia & Taako
Series: I Saw Seven Idiots 2: Beefy Bois [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1940368
Comments: 14
Kudos: 25





	In grief, We bake.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the word bake so many times in this, it don’t look like a real word anymore. Was supposed to be a short for '7 Idiots' but it boiled over. Enjoy ;3

Lucretia wakes from an unsettling dream with a jump. And to the smell of …something warm and sweet. Bread maybe? She can’t think clearly right now. Some kind of baking anyway. She’s not sure if that is what woke her up but is appreciative all the same. Maybe Taako’s making pancakes or waffles for breakfast. Lucretia smiles at the thought, turns back over and snuggles down in her blankets for a moment. She’s contemplates snoozes for a little bit. But the sweet smell is though wafting through her cabin. Best get up and to the table before I miss out, she thinks sitting up, yawns and stretching. Wouldn’t be the first time, although Taako tried to make sure everyone gets breakfast on pancake days. 

But it’s dark out. The little light coming through the port hole curtains is dim and Lucretia’s room is still dark. Her alarm clock is useless here as it has been many many places, but even without the time conversion she figures its very late or super early. Still a while till dawn. I.e. It’s nowhere near breakfast time yet.

“Huh. Weird.”

So, Lucretia slides on her slippers, grabs a shawl, fumbles for her glasses and a pocket notebook; and goes to investigate. she doesn’t meet anyone else as she slips quietly as she can along the thin corridor. Nor does she see anyone as she heads up the ladderlike stairs to the open galley and dining slash meeting room. She can hear snoring from at least one other cabin. Including Lup’s, thankfully. But no other footsteps. If she listens carefully, she can hear the hum of the bond engine, along with the hum of the oven. And follows that sound to the source of mouth-watering smell. Well smells. Now she’s more awake and closer to the kitchen Lucretia can smell not just one but a whole mix of pleasant aromas. Honey, baked apples, garlic, butter and exotic spices are some she can pick out, but there’s more. All mingled and harmonising together.

She’s mildly surprised she hasn’t meet Magnus up and about as well. His room is closest to the kitchen after all. Their resident rowdy boy is normally the first out of bed at the sound of pans rattling and the scent of fried bacon. Heck Magnus has been known to sleepwalk into the kitchen before. Especially if there’s anything battered or sprinkled with cinnamon. And he’s accidently barged past her on the stairway before now in his rush for first dibs on breakfast-!

Lucretia almost trips as she falters on the said ladder/stairs. Partly because its dark. But mostly because Remembrance hits her like a ton of bricks. And the grief. Grief hits anew enough to Knock her from the haze of any left-over sleepiness. Magnus isn’t up because Magnus didn’t come back from the short quest last week, did he? 

…Magnus is dead. 

It wasn’t quick or painless either. The others made it back. They have the light but lost Magnus. And lost Merle too. Merle is lost. Missing. Which in some ways is so much worse? But there’s hope with Merle at least. They have his last known coordinates and should be there soon. Davenport flying as far and as fast as he can safely do. Then they’ll land and ask around with the locals. See if they are able to get a fix on his far speech stone or his magical signature. They might find him yet…probably sat in a hut drinking tea and wondering what all the fuss is about. Like when they ‘lost’ him cycle four. (Or was it five?) 

Magnus however is very much confirmed dead. For now. Sure, he’ll come back. They’ll see him next year. But he’s dead. In the here and now, he’s dead. Lucretia won’t see him for another several months, providing this world isn’t their last. Neither will Taako.  
It’s only been a day and a half since they heard the news. So, a week and two thirds since she last saw his dopey grin. Since he jumped out on Barry yelling MAGNUS before they started heading out. Taako last words to the party going out had been “don’t do anything stupid, stupid.” 

And Magnus hadn’t listened. again. This what the fourth time now?

Even after all this time, it hurts. They might be semi- immortal to some degree thanks to the reset. But they still tire, they all still need rest and food. They still get sick. Still get hurt and get injured, from paper cuts to broken bones; still need to heal, sometimes the old-fashioned way. They still die for fucks sake. They still grief when they lose someone, someone gets left behind or a crew mate dies. When another world dies.  
Death still hurts. And yeah, the dying bit stops hurting at the dead bit. But the gap it leaves behind? Sometimes Lucretia worries they might become numb to it if their journey goes on much longer. The waiting for the world to end just to start over. You shouldn’t get used to grief, to guilt, not like this. Not on this scale. Sometimes she manages to bottle it up to carry on writing. But that only makes it hit harder in the quieter moments when it sneaks up on her.

Quiet moments like halfway up a flight of stairs in the dark. 

Lucretia curls up on herself. She can’t help it. gripping the banister and forcing herself to take steady breaths, she lets the tears fall in her lap. She wants to go back to bed curl up in a ball and do nothing but cry again. Or pour out her heart over a fresh page. 

But only for a moment. Well a few moments. Then she Steels hers self. Steels her spine and screws her courage to the sticking place. Wipe her watering eyes but Quashes everything else down.  
It’s not heathy. But crying over magnus can wait its turn on her to do list. Besides She can cry happy tears when he comes back. Right now, the others need her. Taako needs her. Or more Taako needs someone. And to her knowledge she’s the only one awake.

Because Taako doesn’t write his feelings down like she does. Taako cooks. Taako stress bakes.

Correction: Taako is stress baking. On an industrial scale. Lucretia finds him in the kitchen. Obviously. (Would be a bit weird to find him at the helm). As she suspected Taako’s on his own, no Lup at hand. but there are at least two separate mage hands assisting him.  
He’s stood with his back to the door in front the hob in his pyjamas and hasn’t noticed her come in. Here the smell is almost over whelming strong. Lucretia blames that for the way her eyes are watering. His Hair escaping the messy ponytail and he is Bare foot in his kitchen which is normally a big no-no in the galley. He’s mixing one bowl with a spoon held by his tail while attending something win the pan, Despite the chill of this world the kitchen is warm. It could have been Cosy if not for the flurry of activity. The kitchen looks as if a tornado has gone through it. He’s Using the table as extra countertop space as he has limited space with both hobs going. Appliances not being used are shoved back as far as they can be. The sink is full, cabinets are open. All sorts of jars and boxes are out. the spice racks been ransacked. 

And there’s so much food!

(It reminds Lucretia of the banquet hall of cycle fourteen, the one with the frogs. Where the mad fat king gorged himself every meal, to busy eating to rule or care about the Light. Or the Hunger, ironically.)  
On almost every flat surface not devoted to working on are Cooling racks of savoury and sweet treats, baked goods and dedicant snacks. Sausage rolls and fondant fancies. Muffins, croissants, and (a cross between the two) cruffins. Staple favourites and some Lucretia didn’t even know the name of. There’s enough here to feed an army. With empty cooling racks stacked on top ready for more offerings from the oven or the ice box  
She’s seen his stress baking session before. but this is something new. Not even when anyone has been drunk cooking did the kitchen ever look in such a state…not counting that time Merle and Lup decided to try and make a traditional dwarfen style pie between them and almost blew the oven up.

Perhaps this is just what the kitchen looks like if no one intervenes? When he hasn’t Lup to keep his wild baking in check? No one stop him going too overboard with the cooking.

And looking at all the food, Lucretia can imagine the Captain’s stress levels rising already. How much of their supplies has he used? What’s transmuted? Will it keep? Will they have enough food later in the year? What will turn back? What can they trade?

Instead, hoping not to startle Taako she knocks on the door frame and says, “Hey?”  
He does startle and whips around, fast enough to almost get smacked with his hair and his tail. He looks momentarily guilty, before he relaxes at seeing who it is.  
“er Morning ‘Cretia. what you are doing sneaking around this early?”

“I wasn’t sneaking. What are you doing up this late?” she counters. And that was a dumb idea. his face closes off and the walls go up. He looks tired. There’s a streak of flour in his hair and his apron is covered in smears of butter chocolate, jams and icing.  
“And it’s not morning yet. Taako-?” Lucretia presses. But Taako’s already Turning back to his work.  
“That’s my name, don’t wear it out home slice.” He says very cheerfully.  
“Taako how long you have you been up baking?  
“Does it matter?” He says irritably and throwing the spoon back in the pan. Lucretia flinches the sound and sudden change in mood startling her. 

“Shit. My bad.” he mumbles. but then Taako is ‘unbothered’ almost instantly and conjures a mage hand to carry on stirring the rue while he starts rolling out biscuit dough at the counter.  
“Look, I dunno, mom. Since a bit after you all turned in, I guess. And before you ask how I am, don’t. Cause Taako is just peachy thanks. Just peachy so no need for any more questions, easy-peasy.”

Lucretia stands there, unsure of what to say for a second. ‘Just Peachy’ is the opposite of… this. But she can’t really contradict Taako on his feelings, can she? Something pings in the fantasy microwave. Another mage hand opens the door letting out steam and the smell of stewing fruits. The hand gives the bowl inside a shake; then sets it to another three minutes on mid before vanishing and reappearing elsewhere. Taako hadn’t even looked up. 

“Don’t ‘mom’ me.” Lucretia says hesitantly coming more into the kitchen. “Is there anything I can do?”  
Taako glances at her. Then shrugs.  
“Guess you can check on the scones if you really want to.” 

Lucretia did so, crouching down at the oven and cracked the door open to peek in. Steam clouds up her glasses a moment. On each of the three shelfs a tray of the Six large Cheese and chilli scones sit flat toasting away.

“They’re… yellow?”  
“Leave them then.” Taako said, swinging a foot to nudge the door back shut under her hands.  
“Smells good though?” She’s ventures. 

Taako just grunts. Lucretia sits back on her heels, again unsure what to do now. He could use a hug. But he insists he’s not a hugger. Should she hug him anyway? Magnus would. Magnus would bear hug him, hug it out better. But then again Magnus gives great hugs. Merle would pat his hip and offer sage advice. and advise on the uses of sage. She is the right hight to pat his hip here. The mood Taako’s in he might take her arm off if she did though. And she doesn’t know a lot about sage.

Cautiously she stands back up and shifts closer to him. It’s not that far to move; the kitchen's kinda small. She’s not completely in his space though. Close enough to his shoulder a bump with hers if he chose to but not to crowd him. She doesn’t say anything either. Just stands there trying to be chill. Just lounging back against the counter because there’s no room to perch on it. Another big no no in Taako’s kitchen when he’s cooking. And again, given his mood probably not the best idea right now.

Taako huffs. Glares at her. But he doesn’t tell her shove her off. After what seems like an age, he puts down the rolling pin and stops. And stands leaning on the counter. Leaning a little into her a tiny bit too. Even his tail goes slack. The twins are like cats Lucretia has discovered. Be open but leave them be and let them come to you if they so wish. Sure, Lup is more likely to drape herself over your shoulder or sit on your lap but that doesn’t mean Taako is any less affectionate. Just a bit more guarded with how he holds himself, even nowadays with the five of them.

“Look, I… I couldn’t sleep.” Taako says after another minute. “Didn’t mean to wake you, bud.”  
“I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” Lucretia says.  
“Liar.”  
“Natch. But this? Do you …do you want to talk about it?” She asks. Taako glares at her. “Hm. I’ll take that as a no? or nah? Nope? Not-a-chance?”  
“Bingo.” Taako agrees. Then He grins a fake ass grin. Again, with the mood swings!

“Here, take this too.” Taako physically shoos her off the counter and shoves an apple pastie latticed into her hands. “Try it. Personally, I think it needs more nutmeg? But whatever. See what you think. Then get a tea and go the fuck back to bed.” 

“It’s not the healthiest of breakfasts.” She jokes taking a bite. Taako rolls his eyes. She can’t tell if its fond or irritated. “These are baller though. I like what you’ve done with the patten. And it tastes great to me… But yeah I get what you mean could use something.”  
“Well duh. Told you.” Is all Taako replies with. 

He goes back to his cooking and baking. A mage hand flicks the kettle on for her. Normally when he asks for opinion on a flavour or an experiment, she tries to be constructive as possible, like she would any notes or a review. And then they’d have a whole discussion and banter about it. It’s one of Taako’s pet hates when he asks the others what they think, and they shove the whole thing in their mouth and the only comment is ‘good’ or ‘great’. So, it’s not normally what he cares for from Lucretia. 

Lucretia sighs inwardly feeling a little defeated. And nibbles on her pastry, thinking. It is great. Personally, she prefers apricot or strawberry, but it is still good. Apple are...they’re Magnus’ favourite. 

Well Magnus likes all sorts of food and will eat anything. But apple sweets and desserts are his favourite desserts.) And looking around Taako has made a lot of things Magnus loves. In fact, it’s all food Magnus loves, all his favourite things.  
Favourite Things Magnus isn’t here to eat.

Shit.

She should probably go and wake Lup. But Lup hadn’t meditated in three days, let alone slept…

Deciding to wake Lup if shit starts getting bad, Lucretia instead gets a glass and pours Taako a transmuted orange juice from the fridge. Pointily learns over him to leave it on the countertop for him. Far enough back that it’s not in Taako’s way or in danger of being knocked off the edge. But so as it’s in Taako’s eye line. 

Pastry gone Lucretia makes her tea as told to. Then rather than go back to her room and her bed, she slings her shawl over a chair at the table. Then rolls up the sleeves of her pyjama top.

“What are you doing?” Taako asks suspiciously.  
“The washing up. duh.” She states, as she begins emptying the bowl and filling with a fresh hot water and bubbles. “It looks like an eldritch blast has gone off in the sink.” 

He frowns but doesn’t argue. Not even for the sake of it. Again, most unlike Taako.  
Lucretia finds washing up therapeutic in some respects. But she’s been at the sink enough times to know it is a thankless and useless task to do while Taako is actively cooking in the kitchen. Let alone in this frenzied state. Anything he does need that’s not clean; he simply grabs from the pile he’s ditched in the sink and Prestidigitates it clean, uses it then chucks it back in the sink. Anything she does wash is only on the drying rack for a moment before Taako has grabbed it, used it and flung back in the hot water. So, the cycle continues.  
Despite Taako having so much on the go (with at least two mage hands helping); there’s a weirder slower pace to this baking session, mad as it is. Lucretia doesn’t need a perception check to see it. But she can’t tell if it’s because Taako’s being more meticulous while he has time to bake uninterrupted. Or if it’s just tiredness creeping in on both their parts. She can’t put her finger on it, even as she washes the same spatula for what must be the third time.  
Taako’s just grabbed it off the drying rack yet again when he gestures with it over her shoulder. 

“Hey Luci, how many eggs does it say to use?” And Luc notices for the first time there’s a cookbook on the windowsill. It’s propped open on the book holder nearer her then him. He probably knows the recipe off by heart but rather than risk interrupting his flow, Lucretia checks for him.

“Five originally but you’ve crossed it out to say Six. Beaten.” She reads. Then frowns scanning the page. “This makes- this ‘Makes twenty’. Taako do you really need to do this recipe in full? Can’t you just half it?”  
“Large eggs?” he asks.  
“Yeah. Hey, don’t ignore my question!”  
“Did you ask one?” he says. Before she can argue he’s pulling eggs out of the one basket. “I’ll have to do with twelve small ones.”  
“Hm. Thank Pan this place has hens, huh? Even though they’re tiny.” Lucretia tries. “I’ve even been able to make paints this year.”

Takko makes a noise that’s between a grunt and a hmm. But don’t banter. Goes Back to baking. And that’s where things went wrong.

Lucretia loved watching Taako cook. Even just basic things like scrambled eggs. When Taako breaks eggs, he breaks them with a flare and grace worthy of a Fantasy Studio Ghibli film. A grace you can’t even say he has because he’s an elf. Lup can’t do it. He normally breaks eggs one handed with ease, tap on the side of his bowl or the work top. Separates the two halves’ with a flex. Sometimes he’ll even juggle eggs just to show off. And rarely gets any shell in the bowl. 

Not today. She’s not actively watching him this time, But Luc notice him fumble on the first of the twelve eggs. Then use both hands on the third egg.  
Crack.  
Crack.  
Crack.  
“FUCK!” 

Lucretia whips around so fast in the morning her neck is going to hurt tomorrow. (Well later today.)  
“Taako?!”

But he’s just standing there. Staring at the bowl. His mage hands are frozen where they float mid-air and mid-actions.

“…Taako? Did you hurt yourself?” Lucretia asks. Again, no answer. Not even as she moves to look over his shoulder (there’s not much space in the kitchen so she’s almost right behind him) to see what’s wrong.  
What’s wrong is that there is Yolk splattered on the counter. And the egg white is dripping onto the floor. If Merle or Lup were here, they’d have said it was an egg-splotion. There’s a good half of the shell is shattered in the bowl. There’s more Shell and gunk oozing between Taako’s fingers. Especially as he clenched his fists. 

“Tay? Hey it’s okay?” His hands are shaking. He’s shaking all over actually. Lucretia can feel it as she gives his arm a squeeze. But he shrugs her off. “It’s just an egg, right? Are you hurt?”

Lucretia thinks he might break, like the pale shell. But he sniffs, magics away the mess of floor egg, and the shell from out of the bowl.

“Yeah. Yeah just an egg right. Just. Fucking- why?” says Taako, Clever witty Taako. He still has egg on his hands as he scrubs at his face. “Son of a bitch…”

He Wipes his hands on his apron, wringing the material hard enough to make his knuckles white. There’s sweat on his brow. Bowls and spoons rattle as mage hands shake as much as his own hands, the concentration to keep them operating waning. Lucretia unfurls her shawl and wraps him up in it, wraps him up in a one-armed half hug.

“Okay Taako come on enough. Leave it. please? It’s okay. Take a break.” she says, trying to guide him away from the counter. “Do you want to sit down? Actually, no sit down. I bet you’ve probably been on your feet this whole time too, huh.”  
Taako resists. Starts Telling her to back off too. But it comes out in a jumble  
“Taako I mean it.” Lucretia insists, putting a little more force into it. Even going so far as rolling a counter check, despite having no strength modifier. “I will fetch the captain. And put a padlock on the oven door, I swear-!”

The Mage hands vanish, dropping everything and send whatever they are holding clattering to counter or the floor as like it or not he starts to cry. And Lucretia suddenly finds herself with armfuls of elf. A Snotty Sobbing verging on hyperventilating elf. 

“Shit!” Is the first thing she says. Followed Nonsensical things and noises, while Taako bawls great big fat anime tears over her pyjama shirt. “It’s okay there there. It’ll be okay. He’ll be back soon? It’s okay its alright.”  
She fumbles for a moment to turn the hob off with one hand and rubbing his back with the other. Do elves find it soothing? She’s trying to be soothing. And tries her best to give him a substitute Burnsides bearhug too. Taako only seems to cry harder.

“Should I go get Lup?” she asks when Taako starts quieting from sobbing to just sniffling and hiccupping into her shoulder. But he shakes his head violently no; Almost smacking her with his ears. And a fresh wave of grief hits him as the sobbing starts anew and more tears fall.  
“Alright then. You just, there there Taako. There there. I know, I know.” Lucretia says. And lets her older brother from another mother cry it out, clinging to her tail and all. To be fair, she clings back. Her own tears fall unbidden again, this time in Taako’s hair. It’s a bit awkward with the hight difference. Their one on tip toe and one bent over kind of height difference. But neither care right now. No one cares, not for two aliens to this world stood crying and grieving in the middle of a messy ship’s kitchen at stupid o’clock in the morning over their temporary dead best friend. 

They stay like that till he’s all cried out. And then stay like that a little while longer. Taako claims not to be a hugger but it’s a long time before he lets go. Then again, he always acts aloof but clearly Magnus’s death has really hit hard this year. Plus all the other stuff Taako normally refused to admit feeling. Eventually Taako shrugs her off, gripping the shawl. 

“Okay dokey first things first. That, that didn’t happen okay.” he sniffles. “I got a reputation to maintain, can’t have anyone thing think I’m going soft of you thugs.”  
“There’s strength in being soft.” Lucretia argues, wiping her own tears from under her glasses. “And there’s nothing wrong with crying either.”  
“I know that! I just don’t need everyone knowing shit.” Taako replies. “No use crying over spilt eggs, isn’t that the phrase?”  
“No, it isn’t.”  
“Great, look just don’t you tell a soul.” He huffs. “Not even Lup on your girls night.”  
“Well…alright. Scouts honour. Well. Girl guides.” Lucretia promises. Taako snorts, looking her over.  
“Seriously?”  
“…What?”  
“You were never a girl guide.”  
“I was in the Brownies. That totally counts.” She shrugs.  
“Bet you got all the Nerd and writer badges. But look, no writing about it either.” Taako insists.  
“I won’t-”  
“In either journal.”  
“I won’t.” Lucretia repeats.  
“Not even in your secret diary.” Taako demanded.  
“How do you know about that?!”  
“I didn’t. Wait shit. So you do have one after all then?”

Lucretia pouts and he smiles like a cat smiles at a mouse. Or a lasagne. 

“Well well well. Well! Where the hell do you even keep a secret in this ship? Oh let me guess! sock drawer? No. Or undies draw? Under your pillow would be dumb. But inside your pillowcase?” He pesters. “Anyway, so here’s the deal. You don’t write or tell anyone about our little pity party and I won’t tell the others about this third secret journal?”  
“You needn’t black mail me Taako, I can keep a secret.” Lucretia huffs. “…But I get to try one of the dumplings. Deal?”

“Deal.” He agrees and they shimmy, shimmy cocoa puff shake on it. Lucretia gets a dumpling. (Vegetable and magic beef.) And Grabbing an apple danish for himself Taako joins her at the table. Well slumps down next to her. It’s fine because she slumps against him too. They sit there slumming on each other while they half-hearted review their snacks, and as lapse into an awkwardish but comfortable silence. 

One that she feels like she fucks up.

“…It’s okay to miss him, you know.”

Lucretia regrets saying that as soon as she says it. Taako clamps back up, shoulders to his ears and vis versa. He brushes it off with,“Yeah yeah.”

The tail flicking gives him away though.

“Hey do me a favour homeslice, can you-?” He starts then trails off mopping at his eyes with a tea towel. And thumbs at the bowl of egg sat forgotten. “Can you finish that bit up? Just break the eggs into that bowl. These onions, man. I can’t see for shit right now.”

Any other time or they’d be a get cracking or some other egg-based pun. Or point out there no onions currently.

“Sure.” Lucretia says instead getting up. She takes them, plus one more egg from the basket to make up for the dropped one. And Keeping one eye on Taako, sets to work. He’s sitting down taking a moment’s break and a swig of juice at least. Her eggs aren’t done quickly or as neatly broken as his. Lucretia has to put more concentration into breaking them and use her pickie to scrape out the white. And she does also get bits of shell in the bowl too but fishes them out with the bigger half, like Lup showed her to do one time.  
“Beaten, that’s with a fork right?” She asks. Taako nods not looking up. He starts picking up the dropped spoons and such his vanished mage hands left behind and starts ditching them one by one in the sink. His movements are slower and his tail drags on the ground. He does sit back down afterwards, drink his juice and eats a sausage roll so there is that at least? It’s good that it’s not just pure sugar he’s consuming.

Lucretia even gets a small crooked smile when she shows him her handy work.  
“Nice.” He says swilling it about before adding it to another mix of something in the pan and slings an arm about her shoulder. “Hey congrats, Lucy-lou. You’re promoted second chief egg breaker.”

“Oh.” Again she is thrown by the change in demeanour. Then with her most lofty gravitas smothered voice says “What a honour most benevolent upon a lowly pot washer, Oh Powerful Great Wizard.” 

Complete with a mock bow. 

He laughs a genuine little ‘ha’ and elbows her. She hip checks him. He shoves her back. The microwave beeps again. And then so does the smoke detector. Loudly. On repeat.  
Taako snaps into action with a “Shit!”  
And Lucretia realises “The Oven!”

And there’s mad sprint across the tiny kitchen. Taako skids to his knees to pull the oven door open; It’s not steam that comes out this time.  
At the same time Lucretia scrambles up on the chair and starts waving at the smoke alarm with the tea towel; before remembering she has silence prepared in her spell slots. She silences, resets it then gets down to help Taako move cakes and things out the way so he can put the hot trays down on heat proof mats on the table. Taako nearly burning himself before getting the oven glove on starts pulling the trays out the oven. Lucretia cracks the window open to get rid of the smoke, praying they haven’t woken the others, especially not the captain. Or worse triggered the evacuation alarm. Goodness knows how they haven’t already.

The excitements all over as quickly as it starts. It leaves just a slightly burning smell in the air. And leaves the two of them both worn out and coughing a little. Lucretia drops into the chair, her asthma making her wheeze a little. There’s not much smoke to get rid of thankfully. Nothing a gust of wind spell won’t shift. Merle’s made more smoke making toast. But then again Merle likes toast he can write his name on. Or with.

The scones aren’t as blackened either, they’re a little crisp on top, but only marginally so. Browner, rather than charcoal black but still very over cooked. Least in Taako’s option. Taako stands there surveying them, considering what to do. They don’t bin food on the Starblaster as a rule. But Taako can pull the elements of imperfect bakes back apart if he so wished. Lucretia snatches one off the tray before he can do anything. 

“Woah, they’re hot!” He screeches, slapping her with the tassels of her own shawl. “And burnt!”  
“Crispy!” She informs him and takes a bite. And burns her tongue on molten cheese. “owowfuck, okay that is hot!”

Taako rolls his eyes at her spluttering and hand flapping. But transmutes her gone cool tea into cold milk anyway.  
“I bet they’re dry as fuck yeah?”  
“Not bad though, flavour wise.” She gasps after she can feel her face again.  
“I know. I added a smidge of pesto to the dough. Wait Don’t say it-“  
“Pest-dough?”  
“Ha ha fuck you. Just make sure Barry doesn’t eat any.” Taako says, sitting down next to her. “They have mozzarella in. plus he can’t handle his spice.”  
“Hmm. He’ll still eat like four.” Lucretia says taking a second more careful bite. Taako makes a face. “Even if you labelled them.”  
“That’s not good for him. Or us actually. He’ll be in the bathroom for ages.”  
“like that will stop him?” Lucretia asks. The elf snorts. 

“Are all you humans this stupid with your food, or is it just you three doofuses?” Taako asks. Then realises what he said. His shoulders slump and his ears droop again.  
“You two doofuses.” He corrects. “or should that be doofi?”  
“Three.” Lucretia counter corrects, adjusting the shawl on his shoulders. (She is resigned to the fact she might have lost this one to the twins wardrobe as well, and mentally starts planning to crochet another.)  
“I think it’s just us three doofi. Though in my case I’m blaming being influenced by you six clowns.”  
Taako narrows his eyes at her.  
“Your favourite cake is carrot.” He says. “And you eat biscuits with raisins in. You’re just as guilty of food crimes as those two bozos.”  
“I’d argue carrot is extremely dull compared to Barry and Magnus’ tastes? I mean have you ever known me eat a rock or deliberately drinking coffee mixed with energy drink?” Lucretia points out. “Plus, you keep eating peanut chocolate cups your allergic too. which is just ill-advised, homie.”  
“Yeah well,” Taako says. And rest his head against her shoulder. “…I bet you secretly do something mega werid like… like keep the shells on pistasoes, homie.”  
“That’s the best you could come up with? Nuts with shells?” Lucretia asks, resting her head on his and leaning into him.  
“Or something equally metal. I dunno.” Taako replies. “Five bucks I prove it before this year is out too.”  
“Oh really? And you’re gonna do that how?”  
“With your secret diary.” Taako says matter of factly. “I’ll find it, find your secret food thing and expose you for the even bigger weirdo you really are.”  
“Uh huh. Yeah reveal your plan to me upfront. That’ll work.”  
“It’s a double bluff bubba.” Taako shrugs.  
“Sure it is, bud.”

They sit there a little longer. There’s a rattle of pipes indicating someone on ship’s using either the bathroom or the thermostat, but no one comes to the kitchen. After a while Lucretia reaches up and giving his arm a hesitant squeeze asks Taako, “Do you...do you want to carry on cooking? Or you going back to bed? I can tidy up if you want to go get some shut eye. And we can manage for breakfast if you want a lie in.”

Taako considers this. But sighs. He sits up. Shakes his head. Takes off her, (well probably his now) shawl, and puts over the back of the chair. Starts re tying up his hair up and says. “In a bit. I’ll get what’s on the burner finished first, yeah? And that dough will keep if I freeze it.”

“Promise it’s last batch before bed?” Lucretia frowns.  
“Last batch.” He agrees. Hesitantly then asks, totally unfazed. “are you er sticking around then?”  
“Of course. I mean, if you’d like me too.” She nods. And then preens, battering her eyelashes. “I’m pot washer AND second chief egg breaker now, remember?”  
Taako smiles. Actually smiles.  
“True.” He says, “And hey, with my expertise and teaching, you one day might be able to boil them right too.”  
“Hey! I can boil an egg.”  
“Seven minutes is not how you do it, homeslice. Now, get an apron on before you get any more flour on you.” He tells her, picking back up the mixture and spatula.

“Yes chef!” she replies with a mock salute. And borrows Lup’s awful Blaze it print apron. He’s right, her pyjamas have an awful lot of flour on considering she hadn’t actually done any cooking.

“And hey, Luce …” 

Lucretia looked up from trying to tie the strings. “Hmm?”  
“Thanks…for all of that.” Taako said quietly. Then flipped back to chef mode. “But anyway, more importantly! should these be dark or milk chocolate you reckon? Which do you think everyone prefers?”

So Taako goes back to stress baking. And Lucretia goes back to back to lending a hand. She switches between washing and drying his utensils; to holding icing bags open for him to fill. Chops and stirs whatever chopping and stirring she’s entrusted with, and occasionally reading aloud from Taako’s recipe slash spell book. 

She’ll sticks around to help wipe down too and set out the breakfast things, while Taako burns his last spell slot conjuring up a ridiculous amount of tupperware boxes to put all the goodies in. Both unaware as yet how saving the slightly singed cheese scones from the bin is going to play a key role in them getting Merle home safe on the Starblaster before the week is out. 

Together head chef Taako and Lucretia, they goof. And they grieve. And bake Magnus’s favourites pastries as this world’s sun rises.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I saved you a scone.


End file.
